Confronting Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Associated List of Psychological Disorders (PDs)
By DeconstructingJezebel.com. Minor edits by Eric Gondwe
Our brief intro note to fellow radical Christians: Sharing secular info is not a wholesale endorsement of psychology, psychiatry or any related academic fields, in their approach to diagnosing and treating behavioral problems. It is maintained here (on this website, JezebelSpirit.com) that major behavioral problems have spiritual roots that need more than practical or secular academic input. However to reject all practical or researched academic input in the quest for solutions is not sound reasoning.
Where secular academic principles are crucial in helping understand and resolve problems it is worth welcoming them. There is nothing wrong or sinful about the secular academic world in its noble and non-infiltrated context. It is matters that contradict or undermine the bible that are no, no for us. This is the area we ought to draw the line on.
If disciplines from the secular academic world were evil then all of us Christians need to go back to the Stone Age type of living. No school, no reading, no technology and tools invented by the secular academic world (Not too long ago most scholarly and scientific advances were by devout Christians). Below is info from a largely secular academic background. The Christian author at DeconstructingJezebel.com has endeavored to make it easier to connect the dots when adding the spiritual understanding behind behavioral problems that can be linked to the Jezebel spirit, or any evil spirit’s influence.
“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. For people shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,… despisers of those that are good,...lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people,” 2 Timothy 3:1-5.
Wherever there is Narcissistic Personality Disorder, there are more personality disorders involved. In the psychological field this is called ‘co-morbidity’, which basically means multiple diagnoses. (Please click on the link for a detailed definition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)).
The symptoms of disorders that we will be discussing tend to overlap with narcissism: for instance, in the case of Paranoid Personality Disorder, one of the symptoms is ‘perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack’ – much like the symptom of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, in which the person ‘has a covert intolerance to criticism and other forms of narcissistic injury.’
This list of psychological disorders related to narcissism and the Jezebel Spirit is not all-inclusive and is only an introduction to some common disorders found in these people.
Some observations on the personality disordered, Dr. Sam Vaknin:
“The patient with a personality disorder is vulnerable to and prone to suffer from a host of other psychiatric problems. It is as though his psychological immunological system is disabled by the personality disorder and he falls prey to other variants of mental illness….
The character problems, behavioral and cognitive deficits and emotional deficiencies and instability encountered by the patient with personality disorders are, mostly, ego-syntonic. This means that the patient does not, on the whole, find his personality traits or behavior objectionable, unacceptable, disagreeable, or alien to his self…..
They cast themselves in the role of victims and attribute mental disorders to others (“pathologizing”). They employ the primitive defence mechanisms of splitting and projection augmented by the more sophisticated mechanism of projective identification.
In other words:
They ‘split off’ from their personality the bad feelings of hating and being hated – because they cannot cope with negative emotions. They project these unto others (“He hates me, I don’t hate anyone”, “I am a good soul, but he is a psychopath”, “He is stalking me, I just want to stay away from him”, “He is a con-artist, I am the innocent victim”.
Then they force others to behave in a way that justifies their expectations and their view of the world…..” Dr. Sam Vaknin
If you’ll notice in the above paragraph, Dr. Vaknin mentions ‘splitting off’, which may sound a lot like what is popularly understood to be schizophrenia.
This is not schizophrenia as understood by the medical community, but has been widely – and perhaps mistakenly - linked to the Jezebel Spirit.
Likewise, Cyclothymia symptoms can mimic Bipolar Personality Disorder; the difference is in the severity of the symptoms.
We’ll touch on both a little bit more in the following articles:
Paranoid Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Types of Schizophrenia
Again, this is not an exhaustive list of the different personality disorders associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and the Jezebel Spirit, but only what seems to be the most common.
Winning the Narcissist Game: what you can do
The question: Is there a cure for the narcissist?
The short answer is no.
The longer answer: it depends.
Most importantly, it depends on two things:
1) What levels of beliefs and attitudes he/she has devolved into
2) Is he/she willing to change?
Treatment might consist of individual psychotherapy, group therapy or even hospitalization, but no one is trumpeting any of these as anything near a cure.
Besides the fallibility of these treatments, it is a rare narcissist indeed who will submit himself to the diagnosis and any sort of long-term treatment.
It is not uncommon for one to seek some sort of professional help, however – but it’s usually for other pain or trauma in his life, or even for another psychological disability.
In that case, he will convince himself (and attempt to convince everyone around him) that he is ‘getting so much better’, even if he’s been going round the same psychotherapy mountain for 30 years or longer; the same narcissistic behavior comes and goes, the same beliefs and attitudes remain.
As discussed in the malignant narcissism article, narcissism at its root is all about the will.
The reason your narcissist behaves and thinks the way he does is because of his discomfort at submitting his will to his Creator and his conscience.
Since he is so excruciatingly adept at self-deception, imagine how easy it must be for him to fool or - when this finally is no longer possible - ignore his therapist.
Ultimately, if he is unwilling to change, the behavior becomes a cancer, insidiously and finally reaching the stage known as malignant narcissism.
Secular and Christian experts agree there is no cure for malignant narcissism.
Which is hard for those of us who believe that ‘nothing is impossible with God’.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD
The truth is: nothing is impossible with God. But the equal truth is that God gave each of us free will. We all of us have choices to make every single day, and let’s face it – a lot of them are hard:
►To be offended or not to be offended.
►To believe the best of someone.
►To bless and not curse.
►To pray for those who spitefully use us.
►To forgive or not to forgive.
►To be angry but sin not.
►To believe the enemy's lies or God's truth.
►To examine our ways.
Usually – hopefully – we make the right choice. But when we don’t, usually – hopefully – we repent and keep going.
But Proverbs 13:19 says about the fool (arrogant one) that …’it is an abomination (disgusting thing) to fools to depart (put aside, reject) from evil’. KJV italics mine
The question remains: is there a cure for malignant narcissism?
And the answer is: not unless the fool wants it.
Now, let's find out what you can do about it (below):
Combating Narcissistic Behavior: how to beat the narcissist at his own game
Want to learn how to beat the narcissist at his own game?
The best way to do that is to get out of the game. Sounds simple enough, right?
But let’s talk a little more about that before we talk about the rules of the game.
On the outside, narcissistic behavior seems to be all about self: how the narcissist wants to be perceived, how the narcissist wants to feel, and how the narcissist wants you to behave in the relationship.
It seems to be all about him.
Going a little deeper though, we find that the narcissist many times can be perceived as a generous or self-less person, which would seem to be contradictory.
(Unless, of course, you’re familiar enough with your narcissist to know that strings are always attached).
One type of narcissist may be quick to anger, while another type will simply shrivel up when unhappy, and force you to figure out what it is that you did that wounded them.
(In either case though, you’ll be made to pay, as we discussed in the narcissistic injury page).
Sometimes your narcissist may play at being ‘victim’, needing you to reassure and console, and at other times he may take center-stage as the ‘rescuer’, to be admired and praised.
And while you are trying to keep up with the narcissist as he changes roles in this game, you also have to continue to change roles, in an effort at self-preservation.
When he is the victim, you must be the rescuer. When he is the rescuer – he needs someone to rescue.
You must seemingly always play the flip-side to his narcissistic character of the moment.
Rules of Engagement
Actually, self-preservation is less of a ‘flip-side’ to narcissistic behavior, and more of a matter of degrees on a scale: too little self-preservation and we end up as continual victims; too much self-preservation and we ourselves end up exhibiting classic narcissistic behavior.
When we continue in a relationship with a narcissist, we usually end up sliding along that scale from one degree to another, from one extreme to another, without realizing that it’s a game.
The roles may be fluid, but the objective of the game never changes, and that is this: Simply to keep the game going. And to keep the game going, it is imperative that both parties participate.
Another simple rule of the game is this: you will never win.
Okay, so those are the rules of the game so far.
1. keep the game going
2. both parties must participate
3. you never win
Some (strange) game, huh?
Face questions (and the endless cycle of the game).
But the conundrum of the game is this: If you want to win the game, get out of the game.
© DeconstructingJezebel.com, with some works from Dr. Sam Vaknin, and from Dr. Morgan Scott Peck ((1936 to 2005) Christian, psychiatrist, and best-selling author)